~ bOrEd ~
Sometime i juz dun understand y wil it b this way? i cant b help to miss u even i noe u r not doin so...look at the email tht u sent, look at the old sms, look at ur fb profile update, even tht's no news frm u n u wish to get ur news or update away frm me...but everyday i'm stil missing u no matter there is sad? happy? lonely? busy? or even tiring? y my mind cant stop thinking of u n ur shadow cant leave me far far away? i nvr regret to know u..i nvr regret tht i fal in love with u, but y am i so coward n cant let u go since i knew tht u no longer love me anymore n ur heart r nt even wif me? Y i cant 4get abt u...y am i so useless??? i dun understand....dun understand~~
As time pass thru..i'm b thankful cuz at least there is sum1 with me along all this time...he acc me when i study, he acc me when i cant slp, he acc me when im down n unhappy, he acc me when i doin work at office, he b my side all the while, y is it so? cuz he love me more than u do...i know wht he wan...he told me tht he love me n wish me to b his gf...he dun wish to see me in suffered with all this unhappiness...he wil giv me fully support even i din choose him at the end of the day..he wil b my side whenever i need him...such a nice guy...is really hard to get one...i admit tht i hv gd feeling toward him too...but i cant accomplish him cuz my mind n my heart stil cant stop thinking of u even i hv gd feeling towards him..im really selfish...absolutely selfish...i keep asking myself...y i cant let go everything frm u n fal in love with him or any other guys who treat me very gd..y?? i'm wondering...y am i stil loving sum1 who can b so cruel to me n didnt love me yet im stil waiting for his return...im waiting since 19 feb...is tht true tht u really din love me at all? is it?? In fact, there is many guys ard me who treat me better n care for me go after me..but wht for for all tht? my mind juz hv u..which is sum1 who nt easily can b replaced...b wif them...r juz hurting them...cuz i know i juz love u...tht's the answer...but wht am i goin to do? to me...relationship is the nightmare...the fearful of it r hard to describes...it's juz bcuz i dunno how to take on n lend down..my question to me for 2day after reading a note at facebook is "wil u come back to me in one day? hv u ever think of me when u having fun n joys now at Bali??" whtever it is..i know it's wil b a question without any answer!!
13 of april, very fast, it's coming to 2nd months after we broke off...u nvr look for me since then...ya...u did msg me at facebook@msn n i act received it right after u sent, but i didnt reply...y i din reply? i oso dunno...mayb.......mayb....i juz hope dun get more hurt frm there...it's edi enuf for now on..i edi cannot take it n digest it..im gonna crazy n burst out.....hope i can stay on n move on....god bless!!!
