somehow....i'm still searching the way to communicate with u...
i realize tht sometime i really dunno how to communicate with u...
is due to less interaction because we r apart with a distance??
is due to lack of understanding btw each other??
or due to i asking too much frm u??
msn..
skype..
is the only way for us to get in touch during the weekday...
i know long distance relationship is not easy to maintain..
trust...love...security...determination...communication..
is the main clues to having it..
as in..."u r so near yet u r so far"... which is used to describe a long distance relationship..
wht if both of us is getting busier n busier with work n study..
will it hv extra energy n determination to maintain it?
wht wil be the ending then?
for now...it's still an unknown n unexpected answer!!
i'm always questioning myself..
y i cant b wht i am as last time?
y i cant b as happy as wht i used to b?
y am i so mind on wht u had did to me?
y i cant treat u as i treated him?
y am i so easy to get angry if u din follow my wishes?
bcuz of the previous hurt?
bcuz of unsecurity?
bcuz of i wan u to love me more than i do?
or any other reasons??? i dont know!!!
ya...in fact...i know......u love me more than i do...
otherwise u wont chg this much for me...
otherwise u wont done this much for me...
and otherwise u wont trying so hard to control urself juz bcuz of me...
i knew u putting a lots of effort in our relationship..
i knew u scarified a lots to me...
i knew tht u edi chg a lots frm wht frm the start which i wan u to b...
i knew tht u edi been in a place of my heart..
i knew tht i wont let u go tht easy after goin thru all this n yet i always wanna said so to disappointed u..
i knew tht u bear with me for all the sadness n unsatisfaction within urself juz bcuz of u dun wanna make me sad n worry abt u...
i knew tht u r trying ur best to protect me as wht u can...
yeah....u doin all this r for the sake of me n for the way u loving me...
but even such a way...y i stil unsatisfied..?? cuz of greediness? or cuz of something/someone stil inside me? i dunno...
i dunno how to express my thought to u....
i know u r asking for my thought...for my feeling...but i really dunno how to throw it on u..
mayb i feel it in a way....even i had tell u...u wil nvr get wht i feel n wht i mean...n therefore end up with unhappy arguement...
so..i rather not to tell n bear it in my mind...
cuz after telling u n if u cant make it...
i wil b more disappointed n u wil b sad n self blaming oso..
so i dun wan make trouble btw u n me..
i dun wan u to b unhappy..
and i dun wan u worry abt me..
i juz wish somehow u wil know my feeling n my thoughts in one day without asking me...
i juz wish somehow u wil understand wht a girl's needs..
i juz wish somehow u wil react like other guys tht romantic..
i juz wish somehow u can b wht i wish u to b....
hmm..i know u r on the way to learn abt tht...so....i wil giv u time...n i wil learn to appreciate wht u had done to me...
after all...thx for being tgt with me for all this while...even u stil haven achieve everything at this moment...
i stil love u...
n i wish....i can hold ur hand for long...n nvr b apart...
~i love u fc~
~i wil wait for the day u bring me supprise~
^.^
sherlyn
29.11.2010
